I look out the window the huge glass window of the 16th floor of Sheraton Grande Sukhumvit and I see the most amazing city view I had ever seen in the past 20 years and 5 months of my life.
I am not a very good writer so I have no idea how to describe the beauty of it. And obviously, my little digital camera is not able to capture the scene as it is. I can only hope my "photographic" memory is powerful enough to keep the beauty and the feeling of the whole thing for as long as importantly possible (whatever that means) >_<.
Aw! Jay-Z's Empire State of Mind is ringing in my head now >_<.
"Concrete jungle where dreams are made of,
There's nothing you can’t do......
These streets will make you feel brand new,
the lights will inspire you....."
Kk anyway, even with the magnificentNess of it all, I can't help but feel cold and empty inside... Yes, the room is COLD, and I am VERY VERY HUNGRY,
But that's not it...
It's, well, most of you would already know I believe, it's because...
my loved ones are all... not here with me
T.T My dearest Hennie Pumpkin Pieeeeeeeeeeeee,
My brothers, my daddy and my dear friends and everyone else whom I feel warm and comfortable with.. T.T.........................................................
Oh well, I hope they have a great time even without me, and I will see them next year T.T
It's different this year.. There will always be time with change wouldn't there? Last year I was at Bing with Kim and Aure and Aaron. Haha.. Was there for countdown because I was so sick of having 2 alcohol drinking nights in a week as we had a crazy Christmas Eve party last year.
The year before last.. I think I had New Years eve in KL with Sharon and Stephy!.. another big city.. which was very very scary... lol. but really really exciting.
This year.. I'm not with friends I knew since high school days, nor am I with people my age at all! But I am with 2 sisters of my boyfriend's and around 12 adults from 5 different countries (HongKong, Taiwan, Singapore, Thailand, Brazil). It's interesting, but I am not sure how comfy I actually will be around them. But it's ok, life is all about experiences.. and so far, I have nothing to complain about.
About 2009,
It has been a very fast year for me. I remember everything so clearly, from the start to the end. I guess it was such a good year that everyday just passed by so quickly.
I even remember the end of 2008. 2008 was the worst year ever for me, but the good thing is I don't really remember it at all, maybe because I tend to not want to think or even mention about past bad experiences that they all go away just so quickly... And at the very ending of 2008, I was so prepared for 2009, I knew it was going to be an incredible year, and so I embraced it with all the courage and optimism I have... And it payed off.
Out of all my past year resolutions, I achieved:
6.) Quit somebadstuff
7.) Polish drawing and other art skills
8.) Learn a new skill
9.) Think positively
10.) Go somewhere for a break at year end (even if it's just damai)
5 out of 10!!! AMAZINGNESS~~~ lols. Who would have ever thought I could do it.
for #06, it happened because I have found something/one so important in my life that it got me thinking, about how important my life is back to that person. Therefore, instead of drowning in self pity, trying so hard to feel a sense of belonging doing emo stuff, I looked on the bright side, stop doing the easy things that could only make things worse, and start working hard on the good things to make everything better. And I am so proud that it worked ;)
#07, it isn't that much of an improvement, but I'm glad that nearing the end of the year, I actually took the initiative to start doing proper art work on proper clean sheets of paper and challenging myself to try new techniques and all. =))
#08 I learned to be a better gf for my boyfriend >_<. Lol. It takes time ok! and lotsa reasoning and understanding. And I'm glad it all went well till now, he's the longest lasting boyfriend of mine and it's almost a year and I am so glad we are still so happy with each other and I don't feel one bit different from the very first day I fell in love with him *blush*.
#09 I did do this alot... That is why I have been so happy. I learned to look on the bright side of things and sometimes loosing isn't bad unless you think it is. Therefore =) I am so the very positive.. I think
#10 I WENT TO Pasir Pandak for Paintball, Damai to let the waves wash my burdens away and fly to Bangkok to experience a new environment and to gain a lot more knowledge than I ever knew I could gain.
*feel so proud*
SO, this 2010, I shall complete the earlier 5 resolutions and I will be my ideal self. HAha.
Besides the success of achieving some of my resolutions, there has also been other great stuff that went on which is, having a boyfriend, the boyfriend that has alot in common with me and therefore, we get along so well, get through hard times smoothly together, stay strong for each other, be there for each other and so many other things that shall keep living in my memory.
There were also great friends in 2009 that I adore so much. Steph, Judy, Angeline, U-L are like my awesome uni sisters. They are much fun and great companions that I was blessed with throughout the year.
I have also learned and experienced so much in 2009. Travelled to 2 countries, visited 2 amazing cities (Melbourne and Bangkok). Ate all sorts of food, meet all sorts of people, feel the different environments of these places, admired the art and culture and again, so much more...
I realised that most people are actually nice. But everyone has the potential of being wicked. But as long as we are true to ourselves and others, we can stay away from all bad around us.
I realised that somethings are better left unsaid to prevent unnecessary hurt. But other things should be said so people can understand you better and know more about how you think and feel.
And if conflicts should lead to arguments, I realised that patience, truthfulness and adjustments can be done to resolve them.
The moment I do not want to talk about the problem, is the moment I give up on a person.
I realised that it's hard to forgive, and even harder to forget.
But life goes on and everyone has to move on.
So, keeping the bad and unnecessary memories of the past is just dumb.
Wow, i feel as if this post is so effing long I should stop now, also because I am quite sleepy haha..
Well, I hope my 2010 will be as great as 2009 or even better!
I can't wait to start writing the big 2-0-1-0 on a piece of paper, in classes and in exams..
Damn.. Can't even wait to go back to school which starts in March T.T
I have a good feeling about 2010 as I did 2009.
I feel as I have sorted out most of the little things in my life, and now, I shall start living it.
GOod Night =)
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